Taking Weekend Tennis Seriously

In the latest in my series of Titles/Positions I Could Never Hold, I’m adding Tennis Instructor to the list (and not just because I’m not a good enough tennis player to do it). I think it’s a pretty neat job, honestly. Getting to be outside. Getting to be active. Time probably goes by quicker for them than time does for me as I stare glassy eyed at my computer screen by hour three of the work day. Getting to help people.

What a noble thing that is: Helping people. Teaching people. Making people better. What a terrific concept.

And therein lies the rub. Teaching people is a terrific concept…until you add in the actual, you know, people to the mix.

Human beings are wonderful creatures, don’t you think? I think they’re fascinating. Absolutely fascinating. So complex and yet so simple at the same time.

So my tennis instructor is trying to teach me how to volley (I’m never going to get it), and he’s trying to explain depth difference. We’ve just spent five minutes on an exercise that was supposed to help me understand the touch I need to have to hit the ball here as opposed to yonder. Now he’s placed a basket at the service line and a basket at the baseline, and he’s telling me as he feeds me tennis balls which basket I’m to aim for. On the first feed, I hit the ball nowhere near the intended basket. My teaching pro explains I need to open the racquet face earlier to get to the specific basket – you know, the technique I just worked on? On the second feed, I hit the ball nowhere near the intended basket using exactly the same closed racquet face stroke as before. My teaching pro reiterates what he just said. On the third feed, I hit the ball nowhere near…

What is wrong with us humans that we can’t follow instructions? Nay, “follow” isn’t the right word there. What is wrong with us humans that we willfully ignore the instructions we pay professionals to tell us?

This ain’t just me, y’all. How many times have you participated in a drill or a group lesson and your fellow players have to constantly be told similar directives until they finally make an inch of change? Heck, how many times do you have to keep being instructed for the same stuff? Week after week, lesson after lesson, drill after drill…

It’s a double-edged sword. On the one hand, tennis instructors seemingly have an excellent amount of job security. On the other hand, they must be going crazy. And on the third hand – a foot, perhaps? – they’ll eventually be blamed for not being able to convey their message thoroughly enough. It’s their fault their charges can’t do as they’re told.

I don’t know how tennis coaches do it. Most of them probably sincerely want to see us improve. And we simply refuse to do it. We pay to not get better.