Taking Weekend Tennis Seriously

Tennis is hard.

Tennis is so flippity hard.

Nearly every time I play tennis, I’m rudely awoken by a shot I’ve never seen before. Wait, that exists? You can do that with the ball? I’m still trying to learn how to hit a groundstroke that’ll go over the net and into the court. Hopefully, deep. That’s where I’m at. That’s where I’ve been at for the last few years. And now you’re telling me you can hit the ball like that and it’ll land like this and then…spin in a circle and shoot straight up into the air never to be seen again??

Mind. Blown.

In my last post, I mentioned a universal thought: one’s enjoyment of an activity supposedly increases as one gets better at it. I’m trying to apply that to tennis, but the more I work on getting better, the more I realize how elusive a goal it is. This really adds to the enjoyment of the game. Once I think I’ve mastered this one little thing – like holding the racquet on the right end, for example – I’m left with 999,999,999 things left to grasp.

Wait. How the heck are you supposed to return that shot??

The tennis industry understands how hard the sport is and they don’t even bother with trying to make their adult customers “good.” Forget trying to teach people proper tennis form. Coaches are just happy if grown-ups develop hand-eye coordination!

The goal for teaching pros for beginners is to get them playing as soon as possible. Teach them just enough so they can at least start the point correctly, and then throw them out there and get them hooked on tennis for good with the addicting competitive spirit. It’s true. Go ask your friendly local teaching pro what the purpose of a beginner’s adult tennis class is. If grown-ups want to learn something silly like correct technique, then it’s on them to go take private lessons and spend hours upon wasted dollars on that.

Most adult recreational players don’t learn correct technique. Because they understand it’s unnecessary. As long as the ball gets over the net how and where they wanted it to go, they’re golden.

Plenty of grown-ups improve and move up in levels despite their form; they just have superior hand-eye coordination, excellent racquet head speed, and/or awesome anticipation skills. You know: athleticism (I was called athletic on two separate occasions last month by opponents, which is a nice way of saying, “You’re not good at the actual tennis part, but you inexplicably keep the point going”). But they are also developing bad habits. If they wanted to be even better, they’d have to fix their bad habits. That’s easy, right?

Changing even one little but very important aspect of a stroke is nearly impossible. How is it that grown people who should have complete control over their bodies can’t make their limbs do as commanded when it comes to tennis?

Body, I’m glaring at you.

And that’s just when it’s only you and the ball. It’s bad enough that your body, the racquet, and the ball are at war with each other. Now add in opponents. There’s no telling what they’re going to do. Except if I want to get better at tennis, I’m supposed to be able to do just that.

Ridiculous this sport is.

I’m still just hoping to make solid contact with the ball when I play tennis. While I’m sticking out my racquet and praying (don’t even get me started on understanding the proper shot I should be hitting back – I want only to not whiff), I have been sure to catalogue all the various amazing shots I encounter. It feels like I am constantly adding to this list. Every so often, I thrust that document into my coach’s face and say, “THIS. I want THIS shot! And that shot! And this power stroke! And that touch angled volley winner thing!! WHY HAVEN’T YOU TAUGHT ME ALL THIS, YET?!?” And he pats me on the head and replies, “That’s nice, Christy, but how about we just work on developing a working backhand first?”

There are too many shots in tennis, you guys. There are too many ways to hit a ball; there are too many ways a ball can come at you; there are too many spaces in a court for a ball to be hit through; there are too many factors that need to be accounted for when the ball is hit… It’s…it’s overwhelming.

Are we really sure about this sport? Are we really sure this is the sport we want to spend the rest of our lives playing? I think we might want a do-over on this one, guys. We might have, in fact, picked the WORST sport to devote our life-long days “enjoying.”

Oh. Oh, I see. It’s a life-long sport because that’s how long it takes to master it. Which, psst, psst: won’t actually happen. You don’t exactly get quicker – in mind or body – as you age, ya know.

Sigh. Welp…Too late now. Tennis has got me.