Taking Weekend Tennis Seriously

This fall is the sixth season I will have captained a tennis team, and for the first time in my team tennis captainship, I will be out of town and out of pocket for at least one of the matches.

Hold me.

It’s one of those trips that I’m extremely blessed and thankful to be going on i.e. I had no way of declining the invitation even though I knew the dates were most inconvenient for my very important, very big deal tennis league matches (gigantic winky face to the people who made the opportunity possible for me).

So first of all, I don’t go anywhere. I am never out of town. It’s one of the best things about me. And on the rare occasion that I do pack a bag and leave the DFW metroplex, it most certainly isn’t during a tennis season, much less one that I captain in, because let’s not be ridiculous.

Secondly, one of the reasons I captain is that I have control issues. I do play on tennis teams in which the captains are not freaking out at all times and I am uber uncomfortable with their relaxed demeanors, but it’s not my team so I can’t be freaking out BUT MAN OH MAN DO I WANT TO.

To give you an example: one of my captains – who I am pretty certain does not read this blog – leisurely strolls onto the court for warm up to put on her shoes 15 minutes till the match start time whereas when I captain, I am at the tennis facility scouring for warm up courts 30 minutes before the warm up call time (30 minutes before the match start time) and then anxiously waiting for my players to arrive. Frantic voice mail messages may or may not be left 5 minutes past the warm up call time. It’s an amazing show of restraint that I allow the 5 minutes of buffer before pushing “Call” on my phone, which has been in my hand at the ready for the last half an hour.

You’d think being around confident captains who aren’t stressed out all the time would influence me positively, but their calm auras have yet to make a dent in my natural uptight…ness. One of these days by the power of osmosis, I’m sure…

My worst nightmare as a captain is that one of my players will a) go to the wrong facility and/or b) think the match is at a different time than what was stated in the email multiple emails sent that week. I have not had one of these incidents happen, yet, KNOCK ON WOOD, but I hear it happening on other teams all the time (at least twice this fall so far) and the thought of consequently having to default a line and then losing that USTA matchup 2-3 keeps me up at nights.

If one of my players does commit one of these horrific transgressions, I will obviously blame myself for not doing more. Clearly, I should have put a note on her car windshield the night before as a helpful reminder for the morning of, sent a carrier pigeon over to gently awake her a la Cinderella-style, or bombarded her phone with more reminders. WHY DIDN’T YOU, CHRISTY, I will ask myself. Why did you give into society and what it says are socially acceptable precautionary measures captains may take?? LOOK AT WHAT THAT GOT YOU.

As a helicopter captain, I also make sure to be present for all makeup/rained-out/float matches even if it’s just one line of singles playing. Somebody needs to ensure that things go smoothly. My players will say all the right things of “Thank you for coming out! You didn’t have to do that. I’ve never had a captain do this before,” but what their eyes are screaming is “You are insane.”

Some call it insanity. I call it love.

And now I won’t be around to closely oversee at least one team match this fall and I probably will be busy with other activities during the times that my teams will be taking the tennis courts that morning. Who’s going to tell my players what courts to go warm up on?

(I had a traumatic loss a few years ago that I tie back to my partner not warming up sufficiently so warming up is a big, big deal to me. It’s the loss that made me start taking private lessons and sealed my fate of being obsessed with getting better at tennis as an adult.)

Who’s going to find a last second sub if one of my players has a sick child?

Who’s going to re-do my team’s lineup upon seeing who’s present for the opposing team and making educated guesses at what the other team will throw out based on that team’s past lineups that oh I just happen to have all listed out here on my clipboard?

I don’t even try to be subtle about this, anymore, dear reader. I openly stare at the opposing team as they warm up and consult with the player(s) on my team who might be able to put names to skirts.

Who’s going to see through whatever shenanigans the opposing captain might try to pull? The first time I was asked to be the acting captain for a team – back when I was still new to team tennis and I thought adult recreational tennis leagues were all rainbows, sunshine, and unicorns – my captain told me to make sure the other team had their lineup written out before exchanging lineups.

I have been paranoid ever since.

I can’t recall a time I have personally come across any conniving, morally ambiguous activity by another captain regarding the lineup exchange, but that warning still haunts me and is the basis for how I generally view tennis captains.

Well…there was the time a captain wanted our players to exchange contact info to figure out the float matches themselves. I obviously and politely declined such a proposal. The loss of control notwithstanding, I had heard about the last time she had hers and the other team’s players exchange contact info to figure out the makeup matches themselves and a little switcheroo took place on the deciding line…

Fortunately, my 4.0 team is used to my not being present for matches (which believe you me does eat at me and I hate it I hate it I hate it ), but my 4.5 team is not. My 4.0 team is the straight-A child who has made the playoffs every season while my 4.5 team is the brilliant but troubled kid who keeps coming up juuuussssstttt short of advancing. Both teams are doing super well with half the season to go so it’s like I’m abandoning them in the heat of a pennant race.

My 4.5 team is also the team I play on so it’s a double blow (Hey. I’m an essential cog on my 4.5 team. You back off. Never mind that time earlier this season when I was the only line to lose and all of my teammates made sure to rub it in). Oh my gosh, if this is the match that ends up costing us the playoffs…

No. NO. This is going to be good. This is good for me. Anything that makes me uncomfortable is good for me. Like hitting overheads. Doing improv. Relinquishing control of both of my tennis teams for one match day. Everything is going to be fine. It’s just going to be another match without any incidents much like most matches are whether I’m lording over them or not.

My teams will do fine. My players are going to be great. It’s all going to go splendidly. It’s all going to be fine. This is going to be good. This is good for me. I will not cancel my trip. I will not cancel my trip. I will not cancel my trip…

*sobs* Hold me.