The Yips
Christy Vutam | April 30, 2013Of the many tennis shots I don’t have, hitting a forehand groundstroke isn’t one of them. I like to think of this next line delivered in Uncle Rico’s voice from Napoleon Dynamite: I can whip a forehand groundstroke winner on you from just about anywhere on the court.
Well, I’ll try, anyway. And trying’s half the battle! So that’s a 50% chance I’ll hit a winner and a 50% chance I won’t. I like these chances. And the logic.
My opponent loves those chances, too, by the way.
When I was an up-and-coming weekend warrior adult tennis player, the scouting report on me was to hit to my backhand – stay the heck away from my forehand. In fact, I know of at least one tennis friend who told another tennis friend to do this before playing me a couple of years ago. Have I forgotten about this violation of trust? Actually, I did. Until I started writing this blog post. And now I just remembered that I’m not happy with you, you supposed tennis friend. As soon as USTA is over and I don’t need you to win tennis matches for me so I can feel good about myself, I’m not going to talk to you for a whole week.
Hah! That’ll show you. It’s not like you’ll be relieved about not being bugged about yet another inane tennis thing for one glorious, peaceful week or anything.
Anyway, I’m here to tell you to throw that scouting report out the window. Don’t worry about not hitting to my forehand now. My forehand can’t kill you anymore. It can’t even hit the ball.
I have the blasted forehand groundstroke yips.
The yips is commonly a sports term attributed to a player who suddenly can’t carry out a simple action that’s essential to his/her sport. For example, in baseball when a catcher can’t throw the ball back to the pitcher in between pitches – the game is dead during these times so the catcher isn’t under any duress – that player is said to have the yips.
This poor guy has the yips.
I also have the yips. I can’t hit a forehand groundstroke. It doesn’t make sense! Not the fact that I suddenly can’t hit my once most natural swing. It’s the forehand groundstroke that doesn’t make sense! I don’t understand how anyone ever thought the human body was designed to perform this obviously awkward motion that defies the rules of gravity and the space-time continuum.
Is this karma for poking fun at people with the “wrong” forehand groundstroke form a few posts ago? No. It’s because I’m a mental midget. A tennis friend told me she had the yips, and wouldn’t you know it? I do, too, now. I’m also not going to talk to you, you supposed tennis friend, after USTA is over to express my displeasure, but first, I really need you to keep being on my team so we can reach the play-offs and I can feel all smug about my lot in the tennis community while I’m losing all my matches.
I’ve had the yips before – I once thought myself into the yips midway through a match. Why must I be thinking during a match of all inopportune times?! – and it’ll go away eventually. But until then, a dark feeling of dread washes over me every time I see the ball coming my way when I’m at the baseline and I have to hit a forehand groundstroke. What am I doing way back here away from the net? What is this heavy thing in my hand? Why must the ball be hit in my direction? Why is the ball travelling so slowly? Why do I have all this time to think about my forehand? Why were forehand groundstrokes even invented? WHY?!
I think the lesson in all this is to stop having tennis friends. First of all, they be crazy. Secondly, they make your tennis game worse. The term “tennis friends” is an oxymoron because they are secretly rooting for you to lose. Or not so secretly. But they cover themselves under the guise of “just joking.” Funny. Tennis friends are just so funny.
No, the lesson here really is that I need to stop thinking. And my arm needs to be quiet. I can feel the restless bazooka attached to my right shoulder anxious to kill the ball, but my mind left the Forehand Groundstroke instruction manual at home and can’t remember all the steps off the top of its, er, head.
Well, that last paragraph ended weirdly. But I think you get the idea. I have the yips. And USTA starts this Saturday. Oh no, I think I hear my right calf rumbling about cramping up. Why must my mind be aiding and abetting these rogue body parts?
Yeah, don’t worry about spreading the word on how to beat me. I can defeat myself on my own just fine. Sigh. Let the USTA season begin.
Good luck this weekend, everybody!
~ Christy Vutam
Sounds like the yips are contagious, like yawning. Maybe the trick is to imagine the other team in their underwear…or drink a glass of water upside down…or breathe deeply into a paper bag. Wait, I don’t think any of those things will help.
Haha!
Oh, I don’t know. If any of these things make me stop thinking/gets me out of my head, I’ll try it!
Pure reading enjoyment!
Aw, thank you, Eva!!
I think the yips can be tennis pro/coach induced. I hear their voices in my head during the match & many times they give conflicting information.
This. This made me literally laugh out loud!!
So that’s why you’ve been rushing the net!! Think of it as your game’s way of making you work on the dreaded volley. Don’t worry, pop a few of those PEDs and that forehand will be back in no time. Seriously though, stop thinking and just play your game. Most importantly, try to have some fun. 🙂
1. Oh, goody. So you’re saying my tennis game is also in on the plotting against me along with my rogue body parts.
2. I don’t know if popping PEDs will keep my forehand shots from sailing to the back fence. In fact, I feel like PEDs would cause my shots to go over the fence.
3. I don’t understand this “fun” you speak of. We must not play the same sport. That, or our records are in stark contrast to each other.
😛
Rematch! before you get your forehand back. Maybe I’ll have half a chance. 🙂 BTW, that advice your ‘tennis friend’ gave me didn’t work. :-p
Lol, this is true. I was able to fend off the massive air strikes to my backhand. Barely.
We will definitely have a rematch soon! …although I can’t promise what state my forehand will be in when we do. I never know what it’s going to do even from stroke to stroke! 😛
I get the yips EVERY TIME. Sometimes it’s my backhand, sometimes my forehand, sometimes my net game… Weird how I get the yips in my serve every day, pretty much year round!!
I feel ya, Jackie. 🙁 I love the line about your serve though! I’ve been meaning to ask you how the blistering serve was coming along. I hope it’s going terrifically and that you’ll be unleashing it on those poor ladies this weekend in the tournament. 😀 Good luck!!