Taking Weekend Tennis Seriously

I have accepted that this won’t be the year I am debt-free. ?

I am, however, patting myself on the back for being able to foresee a global pandemic breaking out, and my decision to live in my parents’ house was obviously in preparation for it. Such advance preparation!

I did tell myself that if I didn’t publish a blog post during this lockdown-ish period, it was a wake-up call regarding my time management skills.

That conversation happened about a week into the first shelter-in-place edict. Two months later, my area has since seen a second such order…and now an ease into Phase I II for “re-opening Texas safely” so whenever this entry is finally published, it’ll have more to do with my lucking into a finished piece thanks to the continued time off…and then a gradual return to some semblance of pre-COVID-19 life routines…than from any actual sit-down, planned out resolve.

Speaking of “planned out,” you, dear reader, no doubt had big goals that have been dashed for 2020, and as a reader of this blog, you also, no doubt, had high hopes for your tennis game that have been dashed for 2020. Someone joked to me the other day a week and a half ago a month ago that this all came about because she allowed herself to get excited about the upcoming summer when she’d be joining two whole USTA teams, getting to play/practice more, and perhaps regaining the form that made her a two-time USTA Adult Nationalist.

Naturally then the USTA would have no choice but to cancel the entire year of league competition because of a terribly contagious and life-threatening virus that has disrupted normal life all over the world.

…which means I’ll still be a 4.5 at the end of 2020.

Late last year, I was really looking forward to the recreational tennis off-season (November to February). This would have been my first tennis off-season with formal coaching. I had big plans. I was finally going to learn how to hit overheads, dear reader. Big, BIG plans.

Overheads terrorize the bed sheet marks out of me. I know. I ask myself the same question: will I ever run out of tennis strokes to be terrified by?

I’m shaking my head slowly and sadly. No.

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I’m constantly amazed by life and how life unfolds. I probably didn’t know you a year ago. I probably was not on your tennis team a year ago. And now here we are. Texting buddies.

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I hate the cold.

I hate the cold so much.

I live in Texas. I live in Texas where any hint of cold makes people think the world is about to be sucked into a black hole and all of society is nearing its end and RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, PEOPLE.

I’m not the person who gets her skirt all up in a tizzy and says no to tennis because it’s too cold. I’m the person who doesn’t get to play tennis because everyone else gets their skirts all up in a tizzy because it’s too cold.

The too-cold-to-play-tennis conversation always goes the same way, too:

The World: “Hey, do you guys think it’s too cold to play? Should we reschedule?”

Me: “No, I don’t think it’s too cold to play. Smiley face.”

The World: “Well, I think it’s too cold to play. Let’s reschedule.”

I don’t know why I even bother…

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All the world’s a stage / And all the men and women merely players

– William Shakespeare’s As You Like It

There’s a moment – a real, specific instance – at some point in your life in which you realize the USTA rating system aka the National Tennis Rating Program (NTRP) makes no sense.

You look up someone’s rating at the end of the year, let’s say, and you see what their rating is, and your jaw drops; you shake your head at the injustice of it all; and you feel sick to your stomach for that person because that number staring back at you next to that person’s name is the SILLIEST thing you’ve ever beholden.

That’s the moment.

Or my favorite: you look up someone’s rating at the end of the year just for giggles, and you see what their rating is, and there’s a beat in time to allow your eyes to adjust/do a double-take and for your brain to digest the number staring back at you next to that person’s name and then…the next thing you know you’re rolling on the ground laughing your a—off because that is the SILLIEST thing you’ve ever beholden.

That’s the moment.

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USTA’s year-end ratings come out on Monday, December 2nd. I’ll find out whether I’ll have to play 4.5 for 2014 Spring USTA, or whether I’ll be able to compete at the 4.0 rating for next year’s Tri-Level Tournament. 😉

I don’t know what my 2014 tennis fate will be. I don’t understand the USTA rating system, and I haven’t done the research I probably should as a weekend tennis crazy (and if I ever start my research, I’ll be sure to check out what one of my commenters, Clif Render, wrote about it at his blog).

I batted .500 for 2014 4.5 Fall USTA. I played people who were rated 4.5s. I won. I lost. I went to lunch.

But where were my opponents on the spectrum of 4.5 rating land: low, medium, or high? Did I beat the right kind of 4.5s? Did I win enough games? Blahblahblah, it’s all very silly.

Do I still get to be the 4.0 in the upcoming USTA Combo Tournament and have a chance of avenging my loss in the area 7.5 finals? That’s mostly what I’m anxious to find out.

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I feel like a million things have happened since last I wrote that have rocked my personal tennis world, and at some point when my head has cleared, I hope to address the two major ones. But if I never do, which is more likely, here’s where my head is at with those things:

The Qualifying Tournament: If I weren’t me, I would concentrate on what was probably the best part of the QT, or what I like to call, the worst thing that happened to my 4.0 team: my teammates mercilessly razzing me for eating chilli cheese fries as my pre-game meal and blaming that for why I cramped up/lost in the deciding match that pretty much dashed the hopes and dreams of my team for the tournament. If I weren’t me, I would focus on how much I laughed and laughed during that team bonding experience and how much I enjoyed the team camaraderie while we were rallying and figuring out how to win all five lines of our last flight match in order to advance (which we didn’t do). Alas, it’s me so…

Early Season League Ratings: In my USTA section, mid-year ratings come out around this time. USTA ratings are a BIG deal in my town. It’s just…it’s just stupid how big a deal it is. Teams disband; relationships are severed; and people cry because of this one silly pdf file.

There are 3 main reactions when ratings come out: 1. “Darn right.” 2. “Crap.” 3. “EXCUSE ME? How did the powers that be not recognize my greatness??” Remind me that I want to break down these thoughts and all the different variations just in time for when the year-end ratings come out. This year’s year-end list in particular is going to be a lot of fun…

…because I got bumped up when mid-season ratings came out. I’m sure I’ll unleash my hot sports opinions on this sudden bit of news at some point, but that is not this post (here’s a tease for you: I didn’t go undefeated and I barely won several of my matches this season. They clearly were meeting a quota by bumping me up). This post is about what happened afterwards and how I’ve inadvertently found myself in the cross hairs of one of the grand wizards of my tennis community.

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If you haven’t signed up, yet, for the USTA team you told the captain or the co-captain you would join this spring/summer (real USTA is only a couple of months away; YES!), you are making your captain nervous. Yes, the league starts in April for men and in May for women and mixed. Yes, there’s no deadline to sign up. But dear goodness in Heaven, what if someone swoops in, whispers sweet nothings in your ear, and steals you away? WHAT IF THAT HAPPENS?!

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Recruiting for my weekend and weekday tennis teams is fun. So much fun.

It really is, actually. I haven’t hid behind any swing sets and scouted players, yet, but that’s just because swing sets aren’t included in most playgrounds these days. Plus, I can’t go to every tennis facility in my surrounding cities, watch people play, and ask them to join my teams. That would be crazy. I mean come on now; I work full-time.

It’s also because I haven’t played any meaningful matches with strangers lately. Nothing’s in season for me. Next week, however, I’ve got several real matches I’m partaking in. It’s going to be all I can do to keep my mind focused on the actual match at hand. All I’ll want to do is look around and ask people about playing on my teams.

I’m kidding. All I want to do is beat you in tennis. And then I’ll shake your hand limply and flash a fake smile after I lose.

Such a silly game.

One of the fun things about recruiting is having an excuse to create spreadsheets. Spreadsheets! You know how much I love me some spreadsheets. I’ve got tabs for who’s on my teams, who I’m waiting on responses from, and who has said no. The last tab has the most number of names.

The part I enjoy the most throughout this process is the ridiculous feeling I get that I sorta understand how general managers of sports teams feel. The GMs. Of professional sports teams. I feel them. My people. Yo!

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I wish with all my heart that my superpower wasn’t making spreadsheets.

So I tried to recruit players to my USTA spring team yesterday. No, I’m not the captain. I’ve been rebuffed from more than half of them, and I’ll probably be receiving the rest of the bad news by the time this post is published.

The general reason for being unable to join my team is that they’re already on a team for the upcoming season. One player was asked three weeks ago. I met her four weeks ago. I have so much to learn.

Real USTA (spring USTA) starts in May. That is a little over three months away. Why didn’t anyone tell me open season started a while back?!

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