Taking Weekend Tennis Seriously

Hello, Dear Reader!

I know.

I’ve been away. 🙁

The honest reason for it? I just didn’t feel like writing.

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My doubles partner is trying to tell me about one of the opponents we’re about to play. Like how just crazy, ridiculously awesome she is. I’m listening but I’m texting on my phone – because I’m just such a big deal…and a pompous a– – –  and I’m cockily dismissing everything she’s saying without even looking up. I’m feeling pretty great about tennis right now, and in my current arrogant faze, there is no one I can’t handle.

And then I warm up with the crazy, ridiculously awesome one.

Oh.

My.

Gosh.

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I hate the cold.

I hate the cold so much.

I live in Texas. I live in Texas where any hint of cold makes people think the world is about to be sucked into a black hole and all of society is nearing its end and RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, PEOPLE.

I’m not the person who gets her skirt all up in a tizzy and says no to tennis because it’s too cold. I’m the person who doesn’t get to play tennis because everyone else gets their skirts all up in a tizzy because it’s too cold.

The too-cold-to-play-tennis conversation always goes the same way, too:

The World: “Hey, do you guys think it’s too cold to play? Should we reschedule?”

Me: “No, I don’t think it’s too cold to play. Smiley face.”

The World: “Well, I think it’s too cold to play. Let’s reschedule.”

I don’t know why I even bother…

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I’m co-captaining two USTA teams this season – one Thursday, one Saturday – and I’ve been playing team tennis for the last few years…so what I’m saying is if anyone from either of my current USTA teams is reading this, I’m totally not talking about you, you good, strong player-woman, you.

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Every day when I go into work, there’s an intersection right before I pull into the parking garage that makes my heart flutter a little.  You see, it’s the sort of intersection that splits into three possibilities, none of the possibilities being straight ahead.  Perhaps you have never seen one of these roadway designs.  Don’t worry; you aren’t alone.  Neither have any of my fellow drivers.

Crude drawing to follow: Read the rest of this entry »

Pre-post digression: I should have known I was in trouble when my assigned doubles partner started the match asking if serving hard was okay.  “I mean, I think that’s why [the organizer of the practice] wanted me out here – to serve hard to help you guys practice.”  We were both recruited to help a tennis team prepare for their upcoming tournament.  After the opposition gave their okay, my partner proceeded to double fault at least once, if not twice, in nearly every service game.  This person might have hit a handful of aces or service winners in all three sets that we played.  I’m going to make a rough estimate and say my partner served about seven games.  7 to fourteen giveaways versus five winners.  Yeah, buddy, let’s worry about taking a little something off your serve after you’ve mastered hitting it in.  Let’s also be concerned about not overwhelming these “lesser” players with your oh-so-powerful groundstrokes after you’ve learned how to hit them over the net.

And then to begin blaming your poor play because you’re hungry?  At ten in the morning?  After a set and a half?  OF DOUBLES?!

Ahem.  I’m not bitter.

On to the actual blog post.

When people ask you, “What did you do this weekend?” you would never say you spent it watching weekend warrior tennis.  That would be ridiculous.  I certainly would never waste my weekends mesmerized by people who are just posing as athletes.  I mean, it’s hard enough explaining to people you played tennis all weekend long.  At least you’re being active.  But to merely watch it?  The shame!  THE SHAME. Read the rest of this entry »

I’m not a good doubles player.  That’s why I write about doubles so often.  I didn’t play it when I was growing up and now the concept of volleying and hitting balls out of the air plague my mind to no end.  Doubles is a mystery I spend most of my working day trying to solve.  My boss should look at my pie charts more closely. Read the rest of this entry »

Two posts ago, I wrote, more-or-less, on what not to say to your doubles partner.  I figured I should do a follow-up and cover what to say.

…

Right.  Um… Read the rest of this entry »

I’m always intrigued when opposing doubles teams huddle up.  What are they saying?  Have they picked up on my weaknesses?  What are my weaknesses?  Can they share my weaknesses with me so I can get better?  Why are they still talking to each other when they’re down 6-0, 3-0?  What could they possibly be strategizing about when we all know who’s going to win this match?  Must they talk after every point?  How have they not run out of tennis things to say to each other?  Is it a bad thing that my partner and I don’t talk?  Is it all for show?  Is a team who talks after every point really that more in sync with each other than teams who don’t?

Do I lose in doubles because of my inability to play doubles or because I don’t talk to my partners?! Read the rest of this entry »

Tennis is a game played with four people on the court.  That’s how it started.  The court is divided naturally into four quadrants.  Each person mans a quadrant.  The goal is to protect your quadrant from the evil fluffy neon green/yellow ball.  This game is known as doubles. Read the rest of this entry »