Taking Weekend Tennis Seriously

I’m always intrigued when opposing doubles teams huddle up.  What are they saying?  Have they picked up on my weaknesses?  What are my weaknesses?  Can they share my weaknesses with me so I can get better?  Why are they still talking to each other when they’re down 6-0, 3-0?  What could they possibly be strategizing about when we all know who’s going to win this match?  Must they talk after every point?  How have they not run out of tennis things to say to each other?  Is it a bad thing that my partner and I don’t talk?  Is it all for show?  Is a team who talks after every point really that more in sync with each other than teams who don’t?

Do I lose in doubles because of my inability to play doubles or because I don’t talk to my partners?! Read the rest of this entry »

Tennis is a game played with four people on the court.  That’s how it started.  The court is divided naturally into four quadrants.  Each person mans a quadrant.  The goal is to protect your quadrant from the evil fluffy neon green/yellow ball.  This game is known as doubles. Read the rest of this entry »

Straight from my phone to you, dear reader:

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I am a werewolf.  Since you’re making me pick between a werewolf or a vampire to describe my playing style, I pick werewolf.  I’m aggressive; I go for the kill; and I don’t think much.  I just do.  *Bares fangs*

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My feet feel heavy.  Something is weighing them down.  My shoes.  All I want to do is to take my shoes off.  And to stop moving.  And to take gulps of my Gatorade.  And to stop playing.  I really, really want to stop playing. Read the rest of this entry »

Most of these annoyances weren’t pointed out by my doubles partners, but they don’t have to say anything to me.  Their death stares and silence speak volumes.  Read the rest of this entry »

I have a person whom I cannot beat.  I have never beaten her.  Singles, doubles, Monopoly – I just cannot beat her.  Okay, not Monopoly.  I have never played her in Monopoly.  I probably couldn’t beat her though.  I’d choke away all my money and she’d get every real estate property I owned just like she gets all my balls back.  See what I did there? Read the rest of this entry »

So I lost on Saturday, May 19, 2012.  I’m only now writing about this because I was so bummed. The girl was very good.  It was like playing against a better version of myself (if I do say so myself.  Man, do I brag a lot.) – she was young, had major topspin on her balls – much more than mine – and went for the kill shot any chance she got. Read the rest of this entry »

I will play my first 4.0 USTA (click on that link if you want to go to one of the most convoluted websites ever…unless they’ve finally come to their senses and gotten a webmaster who knows how to unclutter that mess of an eyesore) match today.  I’m nervous.  Last year, I played 3.5 USTA.  Hold up.  Is that not one of the most obvious sentences I could have possibly written?  Of course, I played 3.5 USTA last year.  I just said today would be my first 4.0 match.  I’m underestimating you, dear reader.  That, or, I’m writing badly.  Either way, I’ll stop doing either one.  I’ll do better, I promise! Read the rest of this entry »

The first time I heard the term “weekend warrior” applied to me, I was offended.  Weekend Warrior?!  No, brah, I am not just some schlob who picks up the ole tennis racquet once a week if I can manage to pull my lazy frame off the couch long enough to change into the proper tennis clothing – or not.  I mean, as long as I wear clothes and some sort of footwear, I can play tennis, right? – and go out and hit the ball willy nilly and get all excited when I hit that one hard shot inside the court on the other side of the net out of 20 tries.  I play tennis seriously! Read the rest of this entry »